|
|
Post by Claret & Blue Army on Aug 4, 2005 18:21:47 GMT 1
OK a newish game to try. It's a bit like This or That but in the confines of battle (Who would win a fight etc) much like the plasticine show on Channel 4 previously. Only difference is Winner Stays On  Try to make the matches as bizarre as possible and give a brief description as to how they win. Who will be the longest reigning champ? Jack Osbourne vs Harry Potter |
|
|
|
Post by Rich on Aug 4, 2005 18:26:00 GMT 1
Despite interference from the rest of the Osbourne Family, the young wizzard will simply come out on top as soon as he gets bored and decides to hit his finnishing move which involves waving his magic wand. This cancels out Jack's finnishing move where he forces his opponant into submission by getting his old man to sing.
Harry Potter or Prince Harry
|
|
|
|
Post by Claret & Blue Army on Aug 4, 2005 18:48:42 GMT 1
Prince Harry tries to get rough with Potter who seems to work his magic to escape the clutches of the boy Windsor. Potter tries the offensive by attempting to spear Windsor but is thwarted when Windsors butler smacks him with the hardback version of the Goblets Of Fire and Windsor takes the win
Prince Harry v Sir Trevor McDonald
|
|
|
|
Post by Rich on Aug 4, 2005 19:02:01 GMT 1
Youth is in Prince Harry's favour towards the begginning of the match as he seems to be dealing with Sir Trev no problem what so ever, however Saddam Hussain and Kernel Gaddafi then enter the ring with machine guns, the colour commenter claims that this is due to them wanting to help out their pal Sir Trev who has taken the time to interview them in the past. However Jim Ross points out that they probably just want to assasinate the young prince. Prince Harry then recieves some back up in form of the butler that helped him in his last match, however Hussain and Gaddafi both point their guns in his direction and take him hostage. This leaves just Prince Harry and Trevor McDonald in the ring together until the news at 10 music hits and outcomes Trevor McDonald's long lost twin who is the exact double of him. Prince Harry continues to get the better of the both of them using some moves he learn't in his basic army training, he then floors the guy he thinks is the real Trevor McDonald and goes for the cover but then realises he has hit the twin. The real Trevor McDonald then delievers a clothesline from hell on Harry and pins him to win the match. The two twins then dance in the ring to celebrate like Rikishi used to in WWE, however to their own music. News At 10.
Sir Trevor McDonald or Mr T
|
|
|
|
Post by Claret & Blue Army on Aug 5, 2005 17:18:21 GMT 1
McDonald starts warily as T adopts a menacing stare. Then McDonald coolly points out that the contract states it is an Aircraft match which send T into a tizzy remarking "I ain't getting on no plane fool" as proceeds to thump the bejayzus out of the knighted newscaster.
Suddenly the rest of the A- Team appear with Faceman handing T a glass of milk for refreshment between punches. Inevitably T faints to the ground at which point McDonald gets the win and pays the money to Hannibal and co as he hired them to turn heel on their former enforcer. To cap it all off Howling Mad Murdock shaves off the mohawk off Ts head and leaves him lying as the rest walk off and McDonald is heard to say "I love it when a plan comes together"
Sir Trevor McDonald vs Elton John
|
|
|
|
Post by Rich on Aug 5, 2005 17:27:31 GMT 1
Sir Trev who has been the Celebrity Death Match Federation's number 1 heel for his past two matches now has the crowd on his side. Before Trev is ready, Elton takes a cheap shot hitting him with a bunch of flowers which happen to have a metal pole hidden in them. Sir Elton covers Sir Trev and it looks as if the unthinkable is about to happen and a homosexual is going to become the Celebrity Death match champion. Sir Trev amazingly kicks out after two though. Sir Trev begins to get the better of Sir Elton until Sir Cliff Richard who is believed to be a good friend of Sir Elton's comes out and distracts Sir Trev by singing Living Doll. It then begins to rain inside. Sir Elton then graps Sir Trev's balls and begins to sqeeze them real hard but Sir Trev counters again. Out of nowhere he hits a Rock Bottom and a People's Elbow (I wonder where he learn't them moves) and pinned Sir Elton to retain the title.
Sir Trevor McDonald Vs Vinnie Jones
|
|
|
|
Post by Claret & Blue Army on Aug 5, 2005 17:37:56 GMT 1
Vinnie starts off like an express train and belts McDonald all over the place. McDonald has to grab hold of Jones long leather jacket (As worn in Lock Stock...) to prevent being completely knocked out. As Jones is about to deliver a knockout blow Kenny Craig the stage hypnotist appears with his "look into the the eyes" spiel. Jones sells this perfectly before taking a samauri sword out of his coat causing the rotund Craig to scarper. Whilst this is going on McDonald takes a fountain pen from his jacket pocket and sprays the eyes of the unsuspecting ex Crazy Gang member.
Whilst McDonald is smugly anticipating his shock victory Jones' buddy Dennis Wise proceeds to run in and boot the news anchor repeatedly on the shins.As McDonald goes down Wise drags a blinded Jones to the cover before pulling him off before the victory, flipping the bird and punching his former team mate. McDonald then gets the win and leaves with Wise as they cackle away. The commentator states "It was a set up all along..goodgodalmighty"
Sir Trevor McDonald vs Little Jimmy Krankee
|
|
|
|
Post by Ebony on Aug 5, 2005 19:04:03 GMT 1
Lol can i just say the imagination on this thread is very good, with funny comments.
I will contribute once i think of something funny and cool to say ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by JP on Aug 6, 2005 15:39:42 GMT 1
*Ding Ding* The bell rings for this much anticipated match-up. Trevor starts off in good form, with a beautiful clotheslines on little jimmy krankee. Trevor starts stomping a mud hole into the little krankee. He then picks him up and drops him with the DDT, Krankee doesn't know where she is. Trev then taunts the crowd, pointing at his watch shouting "It's almost 10" As he turns round, Krankee slaps trev round his face and follows up with a ring bell shot round the head. Trevs down and krank goes for the cover...1....2........trev gets the shoulder up before the 3 count. Krankee then leaves the ring, "where's she going" she walks up to "good 'ol JR' and takes the t.v monitor from the commentators desk, then heads back to the ring where trev is still down. Krankee puts the t.v monitor in the corner of the ring and continues to stomp sir trevor mcdonald. Krank turns round and 'BY GOD' its Huw Edwards.......he delivers a devastating chair shot over the little kranks head, then pulls trevors arm over the knocked out jimmy krankee. 1, 2, 3 it's all over! Trevors winning streak is still running, thanks to Huw Edwards. 6 wins and still running wild.  Sir Trevor Mcdonald vs Peter Kay |
|
|
|
Post by PW on Aug 6, 2005 16:05:30 GMT 1
Oh, this is a humdinger...
McDonald struts to the ring, confident in his winning streak, but his expression turns to horror when Kay immediately gets the crowd on his side by coming out to 'Amarillo'. McDonald doesn't wait for the official start of the fight, seizing the initiative with a flurry of fists to Kay's head, who, unmoved, stands there, smiling and waving a piece of (what else) 'garlic bread'. As McDonald backs off for a second, Kay leaps straight in with the Amarillo Walk, his elbows smashing repeatedly into his opponent's head as the crowd sing the chorus. McDonald looks down and out, but a 'Breaking News' graphic appearing on the Jumbotron announcing a second freak tornado whipping through the centre of Bolton interrupts the song and allows McDonald a respite, which he takes full advantage of by piling on the news of the Northern town's destruction in his best newsreader voice. Kay is dropping, almost in shock at the destruction of the Albert Hall and Chorley FM, until Huw Edwards turns on his fellow newsreader, by appearing on the Jumbotron and announcing that this report is none other than a set-up pre-recorded by the dastardly knight. No sooner has Kay realised this then he receives help from an unexpected corner in Patrick McGuinness (his co-star in the much-feared Max and Paddy tag team) who drives the duo's motorhome into the arena, distracting McDonald for that vital second and spraying the stage. With yells of 'It's SPITTING' dinnerladies planted in the crowd swarm over McDonald, dragging him away and bundling him into a waiting private jet, which he has already 'booked, packed'...and is now unwillingly '****ing off' in to Tenerife. McDonald breaks free, and returns to the ring, as Kay 'Amarillo struts'-right into him. 'THIS IS THE WAY TO AMARILLO, b*tch!' yells Kay, and plants him head-first into the centre of the ring, onto an 'Amarillo City Limits' sign, before leaping off the top rope with the 'Top Bomb' and pinning the newsreader for 1...2....and theeerrreee!'
Kay wins...have it!
Peter Kay vs Jimmy Carr...
|
|
|
|
Post by Claret & Blue Army on Aug 6, 2005 17:56:15 GMT 1
Carr grabs the house microphone and proceed to do his Jack Dee-lite routine rambling on for about 5 interminable minutes.
Kay runs...well ambles down to the ring and leaps at the unfunny man and the two go rolling about for a while. As a chant of "Boring" eminates from the crowd Dave Spikey comes to ring side with the crowd and the two participants wonderig on whose side he will be.
Spike grabs the mic and states that "8 out of 10 cats think you suck" to Carr and sluggs him across the head with the mic.
Sean Lock races to ringside and looks Kay in the eye as he says "Give him one for me too, the arrogant little git"
Carr panics and runs straight out of the ring, arena, city, county and is last spotted heading on a plane to New Zealand (Well we can hope ;D) leaving the Bolton Big Guy winner by count out.
Peter Kay vs Xena Warrior Princess
|
|
|
|
Post by JP on Aug 8, 2005 17:37:29 GMT 1
*Amarillio music hits in the arena* Down comes Peter Kay to the ring, he picks up the mic and starts talking trash to Xena before shes even come out (why?) "I'm fighting a woman, sweet child 'o mine?" Kay says! There's a pause of silence in the arena...  .................... ......................... ****GLASS BREAKS*** "Oh my God, STONE COLD....STONE COLD" Stone Cold Steve Austin is on a B-line to the ring, 'whats this all about?' Austin slides into the ring and starts to whoop Kay's a$$..........the crowd go wild..........Austin taunts the crowd......Kay's coming to his feet............he's turning round to the face the rattlesnake......................................................................................................................THE STONE COLD STUNNER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Austin walks up the ramp, guzzling down a few beers.......... What does this mean for the Peter Kay vs Xena Warrior Princess match???!?!?!? |
|
|
|
Post by Claret & Blue Army on Aug 8, 2005 17:55:32 GMT 1
As Stone Cold leaves the arena Xena races in on her horse Argo which she tethers to the ring post.
Seeing Kay completely out of it she walks across as rests her calf length leather boot on his prone body to take the win.
Xena then grabs the house mic and asks for anyone to challenge her.
For a good 30 seconds the arena is a deathly hush as nobody responds until a masked and completely clad person walks down to face her.
The mask is removed to reveal...........Christina Aguilera
Xtina vs Xena
|
|
|
|
Post by Rich on Aug 16, 2005 17:36:12 GMT 1
Christina Aguilera and Xena The Warrior Princess face off in the ring for the start of this contest. Just before the match is about to begin however down comes Britney Spears to make a big announcement (no she isn't expecting twins). She has been appointed the new General Manager of Celebrity Death Match and takes it on hereself to cancel the fight thats about to go ahead. This announcement is greeted by a chorus of boos from the crowd until Britney announces that the match will actually be a tripple threat match between Christina, Xena and none other than herself. It won't be any ordinary tripple threat match though, it will be a tripple threat swimsuit competition with the fans deciding who wins. Xena aint happy about this and pulls out her sword and takes a swipe at Britney, the sword connects with Britney's neck but it turns out that it isn't Britney Spears at all it is a robot, the sword comes flying back at Xena and takes off her head. Then the real Britney comes to the ring for the contest which is now just her against her pop rival Christina.
Britney Spears V Christina Aguilera (Swimsuit Competition)
|
|
|
|
Post by Claret & Blue Army on Aug 16, 2005 21:04:07 GMT 1
|
|
