Celebrity Death Match

[Rich]

OK its took longer than 4 weeks but there was a lot of paperwork that had to be dealt with.

Ivan Drago comes out to the ring in full boxing gear and waits for the deputy Prime Minister to come out. Rather than coming out though Mr Prescott appears on the titanron and informs Drago that nobody said what type of match it would be. He then announces that the match is a pie eating contest. Prescott has already got started. Drago legs it to the dining area of the arena and lands a blow to the head on Prescott just as he is about to scoff down his 100th and final pie. With the deputy PM out cold the Russian gets started on his pies. After about 20 he brings them all back up, being sick over his opponant who is still down. The referee decides that things have got way out of hand so decides to cancel the contest. As punishment for not completing the contest the two are made to team up for their next match.

Its tag team action: Ivan Drago and John Prescott versus Theo Fleury and Cristiano Ronaldo

[Claret & Blue Army]

This starts off bad for the Portuguese cheat when he gives a suspect wink to Drago which the diminutive former drug riddled alcoholic sees and flies into a rage. The little hockey player with his supersonic hearing which can hear a tiny throwaway line amidst 2000 people booing and fishing using clean comments punches the "most hated man in English football" repeatedly and then storms off.
Prescott and Drago then beat the holy beyjayzus out of Ronaldo for the next 8 hours- obviously he is on the floor after a nano second .
Suddenly a towel is thrown in by and old red faced Taggart lookalike who cradles the beaten git in his arms and takes him away to tend to his multiple wounds.

Prescott and Drago decide they like teaming and are told to face their next opponents

Professor Steven Hawkin and Matt Lucas