Scotland Diary...

[PW]

La deuxieme partie...

SUNDAY

5:15: The telly in our room comes on, for no apparent reason-it's a pain to get up and switch it on.

8:00: Alarm goes off...I go for a swim-am the only Blaze fan up.

9:00: Back to bed

10:30: Wake up and realise I've got half an hour to have breakfast-the next thirty minutes are a bit of a blur

10:45: Accidentally down a whole glass of tomato juice, and barely manage to keep it down..

11:00: On the coach, for Edinburgh. The driver informs us that a lady on the third floor has been over to complain twice already-so as we pull away for Edinburgh, he gives her a burst on the horn as we all wave out of the window. She's less than impressed from what we can see of her face...'that's another hotel we're banned from then' is the general feeling.

11:30. In Edinburgh, and at liberty until 4:30...everyone splits off in different directions to see the sights.

12:00: Edinburgh...has...a...lot...of...(stops to catch breath)

12:01: ...hills. We've been up and down most of them looking for something to do, but end up in the fairground staring up at the big wheel. Whiskey has met the two half-naked girls from the night before, so is chatting them up.

1:00: We go on the big wheel. Kelly is absolutely sh*tting herself, so we decide to make it even more pleasant by swinging the basket back and forth.

1:08: We're off the big wheel, talking, when an almighty bellow of 'HEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY!" nearly scares the crap out of us-we look round to find a short Chinese man in a bad suit, who is possibly on drugs, or alcohol, or both, staring up at the wheel.

1:10: 'HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY!!!!!'

1:11: 'HEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" Someone shut that guy up....

1:12: 'You are CLAATHY!' At this point we have to walk away for fear of damaging Anglo-Chinese relations by laughing maniacally as we repeatedly punch this gobby, grinning, drunken sod in the face, again and again.

1:45: Lunch-at the Acanthus restaurant. Posh....

2:00: Mmm...haddock and chips...and the waitress is gorgeous.

3:00: On the hunt for an off-licence...through the picture-postcard streets of Edinburgh.

3:15: Up the hill past the castle. There's a shop selling swords-real, honest-to-God swords, and a full suit of armour for that authentic touch. I'm this close to buying one thats three foot long, razor-sharp and reduced to twenty quid, but decide not to due to the difficulties of getting it on the coach unseen.

4:00: Back to a cold bus-stop in Edinburgh, discussing the merits and technique for producing an unbroken foot-long lump of....I'll leave that to your imagination.

4:30: Off to Murrayfield.

5:00: At a cold Murrayfield. It's dark, the Family are at the head of the queue, and for some reason there's four people dressed up as referees.

5:10: Inside the rink, people have prepared banners for the players during the warm-up, reading 'Andre is a lightweight' and 'Andre, did you ever find your room?'

5:15: Warm-up starts

5:16: James Pease sees the banners, and smiles. As does Neal Martin.

5:17: Doug Schueller comes past, reads the banners and next time round, bangs his stick in applause while laughing. Andre reacts by giving a wry grin and whacking his stick into the plexi in a swing that would have taken James' head off had he been on the other side. But it's all in fun, so we're laughing.

5:30: Craig and I play on THE worst hockey arcade game ever. Craig wins, the bugger...

6:00: Face:off

6:04: Caps go one up...

6:12: Andre equalises-silencing a few people who had been vocal in their disapproval of him..

6:30: End of the first.

6:35: Pipes and drums-not good if you've got a headache...

6:45: Start of the second.

7:15: End of the second: score is now two-all

7:33: Start of the third

8:20: End of the third-Blaze win four-three.

8:35: The Edinburgh Step Watch is in session-only a few people trip, but they are marked and applauded by the rest of the bar.

9:00: Departure. Jane is caught on camera telling Keith to 'go away' as he records her removal of Blaze shirt. Of course, this was edited for family fviewing...

9:10: The coach driver gets a chant of 'Can we have you every week?' as he leans on the horn going back past the Holiday Inn.

9:35: I settle down for a kip, but Annalise won't leave me alone, and it's freaking me...

10:30: Jenni announces it's her birthday in an hour-and-a-half...

11:00: Nowhere, Carlisle. A nice services-I take six quid out of the quiz machines.

12:00: It's Monday morning...

12:01: ...and Jenni's birthday. Rather worryingly, the irst thing she says is 'now I'm 18, I can take over the world and kill everyone'. This is taken with a pinch of salt...

12:45: Line of the weekend 2: Getting up from the floor, I grab a seat-the conversation goes like this...
Keith: 'What are you doing?'
Me: 'It's OK, I have a knee fetish'
Keith: 'What's that?'
Me (quick as a flash): 'It's a fetish for knees'
Well, it made me laugh...

1:00: Sleep...zzzzzzzzz.

4:00 am: Back in Coventry-the Scotland Weekend 2004 is over...

[King Rich]

It's good to be filled in on the happenings at the back of the coach... seeing as we weren't allowed back there...

[Claret & Blue Army]

Ok now my view on it all,

Started Thursday night knowing I was off work the next day so got up mid afternoon.
Whilst getting up decide on a drastic plan of not going to sleep on Friday night in order to be ready in time.
Go for workout in gym and drama rehearsal.
Get home at 10 to 12 and settle down to watch the recorded Emmerdale & Corrie with nice drop of scotch.
Bored at 1.30 a.m so decide to play Championship Manager for a few hours.
Feel sleepyish at 3.45 so decide to shut my eyes for a while.
Alarm goes off less than a foot from my ear at 4.45
Spend half hour in bathroom making myself look lovely!!
Get lift into town at 5.45 arriving outside Skydome about 6.00
See no body is there and for a second, think that I've dreamed up the whole fact that we're going to Scotland.
PW turns up in a coat that makes him look like one of the Inspiral Carpets at 6.03
6.04 The football comes out and some pretty nifty footwork is on show (PW wasn't too bad either )
Between 6.05 and 6.15 various others turn up before posse members John (Covblaze 16), (King?) Rich, Davey Boy turn up to join in the kickabout which now includes the recently injured Andy Barlow.
Some of the footwork now goes astray as the ball keeps going onto the adjacent road to the Skydome and nearly hitting the coach at one point. For the first time I mentally debate the merits and wisdom of bringing the ball.
Coach 1 is loaded about 6.35

Coach 2 pulls up with much jostling to get the much saught after back few rows. I use my size and litheness to sneak my way through to the front with blocking being undertaken by Bella (Beckxxx) & Lizzie.
Bev gives the starters orders "You can get on now Whisky" - I need no second encouragement and head up top.
The back row holds only 3 seats (Not the usual 5) so myself Bella & Lizzie take our usual spots and deposit our plethora of bags (Well mine anyway) around the aisle seat.
After shuffling around of others from back to front we are ready to get under way and the engine starts about 6.40
We are then subjected to a short comedy piece from the driver which leads us to believe our coach is the most fun (which indeed I'm sure it was)
The usual routine about what to do in an emergency is ably demonstrated by Rachel (Of Block 12) which hints at a required career change to an airline trolley dolly.

At about 5 to 7 the first can ring pull is let off (Congratulations to whomever had me as having the first can in the sweepstake) and the drinking gets underway.
A comment of "It's a bit early for that even for you" is met with my response of "No I'm carrying on where I left of hours ago"
The sweets come out from the back row and there are enough to keep Rowntrees in profits for the next year

PW comes to the back to chat and is followed up by Jason of the b2p who only has his eyes and mind on one person (Lizzie). This will end up a recurring theme on the way up north.

I get a present from Rachel in the shape of a blow up guitar which Lizzie blows up for me before I do an impromptu rocker strut down the front of the coach to where the rest of the posse are to show them my new toy!!

Videos of Guy Ritchies finest are put on with me acting shocked in front of the teenagers at any bad language.

Rachel & Tracey get their special "coffee" out much to the delight of me and one or two others. To quote Barry "The whisky guy" on Sky Sports Soccer AM "It's the right touch" and brings a warm glow to many near the back.

The first services are somewhere in Cheshire (Knutsford I think) and after the usual comfort breaks PW rescues the football from the holding area of the coach.
The actual skill element soon dissolves into a mix of Roy Keane/Patrick Viera/WWE/Eric Cairns & Co

The following are known as results
Davey Boy dft PW
John dft PW
Me dft PW (Obviously)
As the ball goes near Davey I get a wild look in my eye and begin pacing towards him to which Davey does the sensible thing and tails away (Wouldn't have hurt him honest!)

As PW gets back on to the coach the aforementioned victors are gleeful at their triumph. (PW has pointed out he is like the Kurt Irvine in willingness to take on and lose to anyone!)

Back on the coach for more Guy Ritchie, more booze and more anticipation
PW and Annaliese are now virtually a lock for the steps down to the toilet area as a long talk is in progress (More on this later)
Jason again makes one or two more trips to the back and finally asks Lizzie the question. Lizzie initially plays it cool.
For the umpteenth time my sports bag, which is very heavy, slides of the top and hits me on the head.
I finally decide to start on my batches which my mother kindly made for me to gasps of pure shock from those surrounding me as I never eat anything on trips usually.
As we go round a sharp bend my jaffa cakes go flying forward a couple of rows letting the wit that is Rachel make comments about being a jaffa (See an episode of Only Fools & Horses for the meaning of this one)

Next stop is somewhere in Cumbria near Carlisle. Again the football is retrieved and less of a brawl this time.
I notice Kelly & Danielle are on our coach and am surprised as I believed them to be in Estonia this weekend with the Phoenix
Purchase the newspapers but am told I'm not allowed to read them by Lizzie

Back on the coach

Others around me wish to read the papers.
I get my chance when they come back and can't take my eyes of the pics of Natalie Appleton in I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here

A quick quiz in the shape of numbers and letters is passed around for amusement.
The clues are thus
7 D in a W (7 Days in a Week) and so forth.
Myself and PW easily get these so decide not to declare it so I decide to help out Becky (Lizzies sister) and her mother in the remainder (Including the ones I & PW didn't know).
With a couple of cryptic clues from bev & Derek Becky is quite chuffed to shout out to being the first to complete it just slightly ahead of a few rows in front.
I then start talking football with Becky and bet her a pound that Villa beat Man Utd on the 28th December (I've already spent it!!)

[Claret & Blue Army]

Nobody at the back mentions that we have entered Scotland until I see signposts for Lockerbie until someone proclaims that we were in Scotland ages ago. This after my pronouncement that you know when you are in Caledonia due to the vast hilly areas.
The usual quid for last goal/penalty etc is done with Bev & Becky taking the dosh and guesses.
The previous week I thought of the possibilty of overtime to picked 59.59 This time I thought about an empty netter but still went with 58.30
(Doh!)

We finally arrive at the Holiday Inn and notice that we are next to the Zoo. The obvious jokes surface.
the football comes out again in the carpark as the road was way too slopey to play on.
Myself, PW, John, Davey, Rich, Jason & Frosty start a game of Piggy In The Middle which when it's my time I start to play dirty!!
The hotel becomes available leaving Me PW & Frosty playing a mix of football and squash against the 3 foot perimeter of the car park. Inevitably PW hits the ball over the wall onto a van down below yet still we get our ball back.
I wander into the hotel and get my key card almost straight away to my amazement and the discontentment of one or two others whose rooms aren't even ready yet. Feigning sympathy I collect PW and we make our way in the lift to our floor. I try to do the obvious breaking wind gag in the lift but am unsuccessfull.
We find our room. Chuck the bags and stuff in with me putting the remaining cans in the fridge after PW exclaims that we have one. "Where?" I remark. "That thing with Electrolux on it" he replies.
PW is strangely enamoured by a trouser press in the room.
Flicking through the tv we seriously consider going halfs on some adult entertainment on our return after the game "After all we'll only be in the bar for an hour or two " I say with genuine belief
We take a wander downstairs as PW wants to go swimming. I express an interest in going to the zoo which also interests Frosty when we bump into him. We notcie that Lizzie, Becky & their mother are still in the lobby awaiting their rooms to be ready.
PW goes up the room and I follow to get my camera.
Up in the room whilst throwing everything on the floor I realise I left my camera in Coventry. "You could always pop back and get it. It's not far" says Mr Music Man

Meeting up with Frosty the 3 of us head on over to the zoo. After a while discussing the prices and the fact that any £20 notes handed out will result in being returned Scottish money we take the plunge.

The first thing we see are a couple of rather large sea lions doing the natural thing. After several bouts of "Arf Arf Arf" I realise that is the noise for Seals

We then head to the glass boxes containing Lemurs but are astounded to see that they have an opening into the main part of the zoo along a series of connected ropes. When one runs across our heads we ALL shriek!!
Next up are a couple of the most massive tortoises you ever saw, the male is particularly quite speedy given his particular urges we are not surprised.
A couple of derogatory chants towards the hippos are followed by the primate section where 3 chimpanzees give a good rendition of Wade Belak vs Jason Robinson from the previous week
Next come the big cats up the steepest incline I could have imagined. And yes the usual jokes prevailed whilst watching the leopards, tigers et al.
At this point we are right at the top of a very steep point which PW goes on ahead to observe. Sensing the opportunity Frosty and myself decide to leg it the other way losing him for about 15 minutes.
We look into the camels enclosure but there are no camels (Not surprising as the place stunk to high heaven)
After a worried phone call from a lost PW we decide to head to the reptile house to meet him as he had just suffered a traumatic experience at the hands of a wolverine.
Coming out of the zoo and into the shop we get somewhat juvenile and start positioning the stuffed animals into suggestive positions.
We then decide to get some rather brightly coloured rubber snakes at £3 a pop which we decide we will wear in the Fife arena later.
We enter the hotel bar to see Andy, Roy & Geoff to whom I gloat at the latter when I am told Cov City lost to Crewe (This came back to haunt me later). I decide to get a drink from the bar whilst the others decide to play Millionaire & Bullseye on the arcade machine. The bartenders express surprising despondency in informing me that Australia beat England at Rugby. (Either they were being sincere to guests or they had heard our reputation )
PW is going well on Bullseye when it freezes.
I decide to summon assistance from the bar staff about this,
"It's not really worth it " says PW
"Yes it is " I reply "She's well hot"

The coach to Fife is a little quieter than on the way in mainly due to everyone getting rid of their excess energy
It had been arranged to get the tickets beforehand via Bev, so we alight from the coach and queue up outside Fifes barn.
A bizarre conversation pertaining to the pronunciation of Kirkaldy ensues before we decide to frighten the natives with the full range of existing Blaze songs including the new Wade Belak inspired take on the Bee Gees
After finding good seats I leave the drum with PW whilst I go in search of a little vocal lubrication. The bar in Fife is amongst the best I have encountered as well as being quite cheap as I got change from £2 for a pint.
I then sit down with said pint to read the program before three ladies of Dumfries come and join me to chat about the game. I'm not saying they has very thick accents but they had to repeat everything at least 3 times and very slowly before I could decipher what they were saying. Both sides tried to psyche each other out by dismissing their own teams chances (In my defence I was outnumbered) before I made my way to the seat for the game.
I did find myself almost droping off during parts of the first period and had to be prodded awake by Annaliese.

Anyway you know how the game went 2 down won 4-2

[Claret & Blue Army]

It was a happy coach on the way back more so for Jason who now had a girlfried in Lizzie. I think he was somewhat happy as he kept swaying a bit!!

Back at the hotel I go up to my room to change into my Saturday night smarts and find PW chatting with Annaliese.
PW flies of his bed in an attempt to score that elusive first win over me but was suplexed back down for the inevitable win. As I stand up he goes once more with a leg scissors but I manage to raise one foot and succeed in bending his right leg round until he has no option to tap out. As I sat back I also seemed to injure his groinal area but he was ok once he got his breath back.
At the bar the staff announce they are running out of change but will charge things to peoples card once this occurs.
PW has left his card up in the room (4th floor) so does he;
a. go back to room and retrieve said card
or
b. go for a walkabout to accrue enough change to last the night

If you guessed "a" have another try

When I find out where he is I call him to explain and find out that he's about 10 minutes away. Fearing another Cardiff Docks episode I implore him to come back and use my card to get into the room.
Eventually he does.
Rachel, Bella (& mother) , Lizzie, Becky (& mother) along with Bev & Derek are congregated in the area towards the end of the bar. After chatting to them for a short while I notice the two girls from earlier (Kelly & Dannii) and go over to them with 3 of their mates. Then the cameras come out so I happily pose for a while. Seeing the cameras Jason comes over as well. I think I insult Kelly by guessing her age wrong but she is cool about it.
The girls need a drink so I am despatched to the bar to get it for them. At this point I only had about half a pint left in my glass which was to shortly prove a life saver.
At the bar I am approached by Pete MacPherson (The senior chap with the hat and flashing lights) who informs me that he has been speaking to Thommo about who does the team/player songs and would I care to do them in the bar in a short moment mainly the one for Andre. Initially fearing a wind up I take a little persuading before relenting. Taking the pints of Stella back to Kelly & Dannii I announce that "We will be singing to the players in a tick". A cross between not wanting to take all the credit mixed with safety in numbers has me enlisting the rest of the chorus of the b2p (Davey Boy, King Rich, John, Jason & Hatman Dave), I look for PW but he is nowhere to be found.
Using the loudest possible voice I have I shout for a bit of quiet and announce that we have been requested to indulge the team one by one in their player songs. At this point I believe they only thought Andre had one.
Starting off with Andres one we bring the house down as most of the assembled Blaze support joins in. After that we go one by one through the players (Even improvising one for BT- thanks to James) which they reacted with marvellous aplomb and seemed to love every second. We ended up doing about four different ones for Wade including the now legendary "Staying Alive" dance.
After exhausting the entire repertoire we smugly ended with a round of the Block 2 Posse song before the applause which we shamelessly milked.
After a few comments about the the songs from other fans I treated myself to a further pint (Remember the half pint which I previously mentioned-well I was nervously sipping it with every song fearful that my voice would go) and sat down at a table behind the players with Kelly, Dannii & their friend Fiona who had initially braved this trip on her own.
Felling brave and having broken the ice as far as the team went I now got the need to get my picture taken on my mobile with as many of the players as poss. Andre and Wade were the prize pics as I questioned them on whether they liked their songs. All replied affirmitively. At this point I started to notice a chant of "Whiskey is a puck bunny" eminating from the returning PW, James & Keith (Chaos). Ignoring them I turned back to the girls- WRONG MOVE -the chants and songs became more embarassing as far as I was concerned particularly as at certain points I was with Kelly only as the others has wandered off for a call of nature. Have to say I was hooked in a fishing trip big time for once!
You all know the Andre story about how many encores the legend made, one of which included him calling me the "president of his fan club". Has there ever been a bigger entertainer in coventry? I think not
Anyway about 2.00 I enquire with the bar staff as to when last orders are. I am told about half three or so maybe later. The girls are running out of money so I buy a round....let me repeat that- I BUY A ROUND!!!
Such generousity leads Kelly to allow me two cans from the room she shares with Dannii (Are you listening to the truth PW?), which after we sup up we go to do.
I notice the girls room is smoking allowed so enquire if it's ok to have a quick one in there as I can't in the room I share with PW.
Anyway one becomes two as the chat flows when we hear shouting from a window at the other sde of the hotel. I should point out that at this stage the girls had changed into their night attire (Not partially or half naked) and we all go to the window. Thinking we hear someone call PWs name we ask if he is there (As I was supposed to go to Jason & Co's room as they has Playstation in there). We ask what room it is and get a response back of 451. Just then the window below opens and two odd looking guys look up and ask what we're doing. Dannii responds "We're going to sleep" to which the odd guys reply with "Well come down here then"
In a fit of giggles we decide to venture to the room previously mentioned. I get ready to open the door for Kelly (Being the gentleman that I am) but she allows me to go first.
As I put my head into the corridor WHACK, PW flys off my head and tumbles into the corridor waking up several surrounding people.
I notice that there is a lot of blood on the wall as my inner lip is gushing.
I hasten to the bathroom and start spitting the blood out everywhere including on the soap (Sorry girls).
At this point things get strange. Craig walks in and sounds drunk/sleepy. He asks what I am doing in this particular room and then states in a very odd voice what my intentions that night were. If I wasn't so concerned about stopping the flow of blood I would have been creased up in laughter.
Eventually I stopped the bleeding but not before Craig had tried every bed for size!!
Craig then wandered off somewhere leaving myself, Kelly & Dannii to go back to my room as the complaints were becoming several at that point.
We got back to my room after a short while and chatted for a bit whilst I had my final can of the proceedings before a very restless PW entered and got ready for sleep as it was about 4.15 putting his OB shirt on to sleep in. For a laugh I tried to remove the blanket once he was in bed but he gamely hung on.
The next bit differs drastically to what was said previously but all I did was get changed into my night attire (Red vest and tight blue shorts) with my back to the other two. I belive I did a little shake of the butt as well but did not go streaking down the corridor!!!
Shortly after this tiredness overcame PW and the girls left for their own room.
After a short confab concerning the merits of the day my head hit the pillow.

In the next episode..

What happened on the Sunday?
What was the breakfast meeting of the two booziest hotel residents really like?
How scary was the wheel?
How big was the sword that PW took a fancy too?
What was Richs marketing moment of genius?
And how hard is it to find an off license in Edinburgh?

Find out same Blaze time same Blaze channel

[Claret & Blue Army]

King said:

It's good to be filled in on the happenings at the back of the coach... seeing as we weren't allowed back there...

PW was near the front for most of it. Wish I was for a certain reason!!

[King Rich]

I'm loving seeing other people's take on the weekend, and events that happened with other groups of fans when I wasn't there. I'll write one myself later.

[Claret & Blue Army]

King said:

I'm loving seeing other people's take on the weekend, and events that happened with other groups of fans when I wasn't there. I'll write one myself later.

Got to agree, the more the merrier.

I will do my Sunday one later tonight there are a few twists and turns in it

[Melanie]

I'm loving the antics of all of you lot.........I could almost be there............wish I had been

[Rich]

These Scotland Diarys are quality. I'm thinking of writing one myself and I wasn't even there.

[King Rich]

Yeah go on Rich!! ;D

[SuperMouse]

;D wow it really sounds like no one had a bad time... lookin 4ward to the other diaries.. but would advise against jenni doing one, it would be too weird

[Claret & Blue Army]

Episode 2

I am awaken by a flash of bright light but only because PW has opened the curtains.
The clock on the tv tells me it is 10 to 10!!!
I wander across to the window and see my two cohorts from the previous night/earlier that morning likewise gazing out of their window.
Deciding that breakfast is a no go given the time constraints I spend the next 40 minutes in the bathroom.
I realise I have a sore lip to match my head!!

Quickly gathering my stuff into my bags I hasten down to the breakfast area intent on a quick coffee when I bump into Elaine Barlow who tells me not to rush as the coach won't be going at 11.
That being the case I make my way to the queue for breakfast. I am in the middle of the queue when Andre comes over to me and asks how I am,
"Sore head" I say
"Same here" says he

On the coach I notice that posse members Rich & Davey are nearer the back and am pleased. Less pleasing is the fact that Jason is sitting in MY seat. A deliberate pace towards said spot results in me having my usual resting place and areas for my bag which unbelievably seems twice the size of the day before.
A vitals stock check shows two cans (The ones i got from the girls room-pay attention at the back) and a bottle of Vodka. Make mental note to get more cans later in the day.

The coach drivers make note of some woman who has complained about the noise earlier and toots the horn as everyone else shouts noise too. At this point my head is ready to implode.

We are dropped of near some graveyard in the grounds of St. Cuthbert and I wait for PW to meander of the bus. Several groups of people are now harmonising a chorus of "Are you coming with us" to all and sundry.

PW & myself follow the Rachel pack as far as the high street but continue when they all seem to stop at some shop or other.
The pair of us carry on and see a silver painted robotic looking guy (Out of work actor) performing a very 80s style dance act.
Suddenly notice how cold Scotland is but on the beneficial side it does blow away the cobwebs.

We start to walk up towards the heightened area where the castle is and on going over the bridge at Waverley Station PW gets an idea to go to Leith (?!). I am confused as to what is there my Scottish cultural knowledge is set with Hibs & Hearts in Edinburgh and Celtic and the other lot in Glasgow.
Apparently Leith has some yacht there. Not knowing how far it is and unprepared to get on any form of local public transport and gambling with the times of return we decide against it.
I start looking for a newsagent to get the papers which I do. We bump in to Roy, Geoff plus one other, at which point Geoff delights in telling me that Villa lost last night.
Oddly enough we didn't bump into many other Blaze alumni in the whole day apart from those in the next section.

[Claret & Blue Army]

PW spots an open air ice rink and fancies a skate. We walk the long (only) way round to get to the entrance.

As PW goes to check the prices I spy Kelly, Dannii & Fiona sitting at a table so go to chat with them completely forgetting about PW for a temporary moment.
After a short while Kelly announces that although apprehensive she fancies going on the big (ish) wheel that is the other side of the rink. I turn to PW who says "I know what you're going to say know that you want to go on it too!" He is correct.
We go to queue up for it and notice the Barlow family already on said ride. Andrew looks shaken but not stirred when he comes down and he and Elaine come over to say hello.
We notice that we can get all five of us into one cage and I notice a wicked gleam appearing in PW eye.
As we get in it is kind of unsteady anyway which does nothing positive for Kellys nerves particularly as PW has taken to spinning the dial making the cage go round and rocking back in his seat.
A comment from Kelly of "I hope it don't go up too far is more fuel to PW to continue aforementioned antics.
This does indeed turn into a white knuckle ride for which PW is in his element with the following comments being heard;

"It's only a thin piece of thread holding it altogether"
"I don't like that creaking sound"
"Why have the ride staff packed up and gone away?"

After a handful of revolutions the thing coms to a stop for us to get off and out comes the nerve calming nicoteen.

All of a sudden and far scarier than the ride we hear the following;

"HEY HEY HEY HEY ....YOU'RE CRAYZEE"
This prompts Dannii to shout "What the..." as we look around to see a large and loud oriental guy behind us.

Eventually to PWs relief we say au revoir to the girls and go off in search of proper food.
We find the Acanthus bar which I frequent on every trip to Edinburgh.
The place is very plush and the waitresses look like they've fallen straight off the catwalk. PW dribbles into his Guiness when one approaches us to take our order.
The angel hadock is exquisite and puts us both in philosophical mode as we discuss the differences between a woman and a lady.
We then go on to decide about the people on our coach and which characteristics they share with the main cast of Friends. I state that I have a similar mindset to Chandler with a rapier wit added to a sense of vulnerability. PW likens himself to Joey but I can't remember why. it transpires that there are many Phoebes one or two Rachels, a solitary Ross but no Monicas.

Following luncheon we make it up to the castle are for a look at the surrounding scenery. PW is breathtaken once more although that could have been down to the gradient of the place.

We go past the Whisky Heritage Centre and PW is gobsmacked when I tell him how much the bottles cost in there.
At a Scottish stuff shop we see a pair of full armoured costumes retailing at £1,999. We then use combined thought process to figure out peoples reaction if we went back onto the coach in full metal regalia.
PW then sees a genuine old style sword for a mere £35 and is severley tempted to make the purchase. We paraphrase the famous Crocodile Dundee knife scene with the sword in mind.
Eventually sanity prevails and PW continues on swordless.

It is now about 3.10 and we have just over an hour to get back to the coach when I remember I need lager.
Shouldn't be hard to find a place that sells alcohol in Scotland we reason but cannot find either an off license or a shop like Tescos etc that would have any.
We walk back down to the High Street and start going up each turning for the next twenty minuted before we find one. In between PW has taken a fancy to Coconut Macaroons and developed a strange craving!
I go into the shop to get my cans and notice they are £7.99 for 8 which I take to the counter and notice that in the fridge they have the same Tennants cans at £5 for 8
I ask the guy behind the counter what the difference is and he replies
"Well them ones are in the fridge!"
I take the £5 ones.

[Claret & Blue Army]

Deciding to head back as there is nothing left worth seeing in Edinburgh we notice at least a copule of dozen other offys.
We also see a sign that says "Nativity scene- No parking between 1.30 and 5.30 on Sundays"- right in front of it is a parked car.
A pub called Bad butt leads to both myself and PW getting a picture under said header. PW adopting a "Drop the gloves" pose underneath it.

We arrive back at the pick up point to see Kelly, Dannii & Fiona are already there having also decided that there's nothing to see in Edinburgh.
PW drifts away for a while but is soon ensnared back when Annaliese comes to the point of pick up and they indulge in a chat.
At nearly 4.20 Rich, John, Davey & co come back and Rich shows the caps he got printed for him, Davey and to my thankfulness me with our nicknames on them just below the legend that is B2P.
Coach 1 arrives and picks up its occupants but the rest of us are left for nearly 20 minutes before ours comes too.

It seems that various stories concerning my antics the previous night are in circulation which leads the slandered parties to state how innocent it all was.

We arrive at Murrayfield with comments that the bar has been opened early (For once I forego this pleasure and head straight for the rink), PW and Davey kick Jasons new ball around on the field in the darkness.
In the queue for the doors we notice that Nick plus three others are dressed up as referees which raises a much needed smile to combat the chill in the air.
Murrayfields rink is even colder inside than I remembered. After the square sausage batch I had the previous night in Fife I give the food a miss and get a Lucozade sports drink instead. The rickety seats are a nightmare to negotiate.
I have to coax PW and Annaliese down from the top of the seats as the rest of the "noise" is further down.
At this point I am really freezing my Jacobs (Courtesy of Joe Pasquale) off so go almost catatonic during the warm up.
In the far corner PW James & Keith have hand made banners erected against the plexi which cause amusement for some of the players.

We win 4-3

During one of the ciggarette breaks Kelly tries to headbut a fire extinguisher on the wall, and Elaine claims that Dannii has ruined her photo of Neal Martin by being in the background making it look like Neal has a ponytail

After a game in which there was almost zero energy compared to the previous night (Down to many things), and the antics of a small minority of Caps fans which left a sour taste, we call reconvene around the corner to the bar.
All week I had remembered the step at the top which people regularly trip up on but had completely forgotten about it as I climbed the stairs.
Fortunately for me I was behind Lee Hubble who took the trip him self to the glee of those inside waiting for their next victim. They even had score cards at the ready!!!
I go and get my pint of Carlsbergs which wasn't on offer last time in Edinburgh (Must be down to their sponsors) and bump into Kelly, Dannii & Fiona again.
Dannii has got the blade from Russ Cowleys stick when it got broken and is very chuffed with it. Jason then comes along and asks me to get him a drink. Confused I claim poverty but then he hands me some money and asks me to go to the bar for him. Not wishing to be interrupted I politely suggest he gets it, forgetting his age and his possible panic over not being served.
A table becomes free so we dive onto it and start chatting about the stick and other stuff.
A gleeful Jason comes over once more to loudly proclaim "They didn't ask me for I.D." which causes eyeballs to be rolled simultaneously.
PW ventures over to whisper that we are now top of the league (Research later proved this to be incorrect).
Bev calls time but the two girls (Fiona had left on the other coach) decide to have one more ciggy. PW is less than impressed but we do get back onto the coach before some others.
I start on my cans before Jason comes up to crash more off me. At this point he is even drunker than I have ever been on a journey- and we still have 8 hours left. Eventually I give him a half and ask if he can see who else can donate to his needs.
Everyone is fairly tired so no sing song this time. Instead there is just general chat.
I get my first option to speak with my adopted sis Bella for the first time when Lizzie goes down the front to be with her new beau.
I then decide to listen to my cds starting with some rather rude stuff from some Aussie.
Following that I have many ones by Gwen Stefani before I spin Katie Melua and The Closest Thing To Crazy. Despite my severley strained vocal chords I try to sing along with it which does start to grate somewhat after the fifth time.
Fortunately the first services are upcoming and I go for a leg stretch.
Rachel spots a little Scottish doll called Shougall McDougall (Which is her family surname) and this promptly becomes Ross McDougalls (Not the Bracknell player) new nickname.
Kelly does an impression of Chris Tarrant when she says to me "Guess what? I'll tell you later" which causes a little mirth. We again get interrupted by the blaze version of Posh & Becks (Jason & Lizzie- not sure which is which)
Back on the coach and people are now sleeping including PW in the aisle with his Inspiral Carpetsesque coat being used for a blanket. I wonder if his head will be alright next to so many feet.

I continue listening to my cds and start miming to them instead. I also play air guitar on I Believe In A Thing Called Love
Jenni mentions that it is now her birthday and congratulation are thrown.
I continue talking to a very wide awake Bella who lets me know politely that my voice is loud even when talking with a sore throat. Fortunately I said nothing embarrassing
We get our final stop which happens to be the Skydome!
hurray we're home. The time is something like 3.15
I start enquiring as to whom is getting a taxi that lives in my general direction. Jenni is the first I ask but she has a lift catered for her. I start to worry a little as previous times have lead to a fair hike around town looking for a taxi. This time I have a back pack on my back (Obviously) and a sports bag, drum and football to carry.
Luckily I find out that Kelly & Dannii live near enough to split a taxi fare so we share. I find out that Kelly won the raffle for a signed stick and remark that it is funny how she has won that one whilst Dannii also has part of a stick from the night. I phone for a cab and after a long wait to answer am told to expect one in 15 minutes. despite the cold air I nearly pass out. Kelly then shows me her Rangers poster that she bought and asks if I like it. As my Scottish preference is Celtic I respectfully infer in the negative.
The cab comes after someone else tried to nab it and we squeeze in. Despite giving the driver a precise route of which order we want to go in he still manages to get it wrong.
In Binley and £10 lighter I am home. It is now 4.10


Weren't a bad weekend really ;D