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Post by Claret & Blue Army on Nov 3, 2004 23:20:06 GMT 1
Once upon a time in a small village in the middle of America. there was a young boy called Rock who was a keen ornithologist. He was well known in the village for his knowledge of birds. For his Birthday one year his parents bought him an emu which he treated like his best mate.
Many years passed before the emu had a bad case on gastroenteritis. "Not to worry" said Rocks' father "We can take him to Dan the vet. He will have him feeling better in no time"
Unfortunately the vets surgery was 30 miles out of town and Rocks parents had only a clapped out old banger. Nevertheless they took the poor bird with them until they reached the surgery.
Rocks' father walked up to the surgery and noticed that it was empty.
All of a sudden a neighbour from their own village happened to walk past and enquired what was going on.
"Oh" said the father "Rocks emus' sick and Dans away"
Roxy Music- Dance Away
Now can anyone else come up with a story of how a song title came to be? ;D
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Post by Lee Francis on Nov 4, 2004 16:25:47 GMT 1
surely that just proves that there is far too much time wasting going on around here!!!  LOL |
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Post by Claret & Blue Army on Nov 4, 2004 18:32:32 GMT 1
Many moons ago in an African jungle the animals were having their annual Olympics. Of particular intensity that year were the competitions between rival families of fauns (A type of deer).
Much expectation was placed on the royal family of the fauns from the two parent fauns and their four young offspring.
The adult male faun won his race setting a new Animal Olympic time to the wild cheers throughout the animal kingdom.
The baby fauns competing as a team also came home with the gold in the tug of war event.
All eyes were then on the adult female as she prepared herself for her favourite event, the high jump.
To the great surprise of the crowd she failed to even pick up a medal and was very annoyed at her failings.
Nevertheless the commentating racoon gathered the entire family together for their speeches about the games. The adult male expressed his satisfaction at his own win and declared his immense pride at the juniors triumph too.
At this point the adult female faun spat at the ground and stormed off stroppily.
The youngest of the fauns was a little upset and asked his father what was up with his mother. to which the male adult replied " Ah that's just MUMMY FAUN HUFFING"
Which was a massive hit for Dire Straits ;D
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Post by King Rich on Nov 4, 2004 18:51:18 GMT 1
Abby and her two friends, Ben and Charlie, had just come back from Status Quo gig at the NEC, and they were still very hyperactive. This mood was soon to be calmed, as the three amigos began to roll some fine quality joints.* As Abby had to rush from work earlier on in the day, she hadn't had time for dinner, and couldn't be bothered to make anything, so she just grabbed a box of Mr Kipling's jam tarts from out of the cupboard, and split them between herself and her friends. Half an hour later, Charlie had fallen asleep and Ben was mocking Abby's joint-rolling skills, claiming that she was the slowest out of everybody he knew. Abby got aggravated by this claim, and challenged her friend to a race. They bet that if Abby was the fastest, Ben would give her the rest of his draw for that night, and if Ben was the fastest, Abby would give Ben her one remaining jam tart "and a little something else too", she said with a wink. Ben won the challenge easily, and jumped up in celebration. Charlie, waking up, asked Ben what he was so excited about. He replied, "I WON ABBY'S TART AND SOMETHING".... ......which is the first track on Michael Jackson's "Thriller" album  *King Rich does not condone the use of cannabis. On this forum.  |
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Post by Claret & Blue Army on Nov 4, 2004 21:27:47 GMT 1
There were three scousers Ba Ga & Te as they were known. These three scallys had known each other since primary school, right the way through to college and their first jobs. Eventually Te was the first to get romantically involved with a girl named Sue and lo and behold they were to get married.
On the day of the wedding Ba & Ga called round for Te as they were both best man. Whilst Ba was organising the guests Ga was helping to dress Te. Te looked very smart in his new suit as he saught out his neck wear for his mate to put on for him.
After a while Ga knotted his tie down around the grooms sternum. "Is that alright Te?" he asked, looking into the mirror Te replied "No hIGHER THE TIE GA"
Which was a massive hit for Survivor thanks to Rocky III
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Post by King Rich on Nov 4, 2004 22:20:23 GMT 1
Haha I love it ;D Why the names Ba and Te though? Anyways.... Dr Dre unveiled his new protege, by the name of X-Tip. This new up-and-coming rapper recorded his first album, and it was hyped like crazy. It wasn't that great, but hey, it still went platinum when it came out. Dre is renowned for producing other rappers' albums and turning them into stars. In a recent interview he was asked why he is always making new stars and helping out new rappers. He replied "First Dr Dre is old, then Eminem is old, then X-Zibit is old, THEN X-TIP IS OLD" which was in fact a hit for Dre himself, featuring Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg and Kurupt |
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Post by Claret & Blue Army on Nov 8, 2004 23:19:10 GMT 1
Joe was a family man who had to go to work in the middle of the North sea drilling for oil as times were hard. Leaving his wife and two young boys at the airport he fondly held a photograph of them to remind him over the next few months.
Due to staff shortages though, Joes' time ended up being for two and a half years without any breaks to go back home.
Being a very dilligent worker Joe often worked 7 days every week doing two tiring shifts a day.
Eventually he got time off to fly bag home where his family were there to greet him.
His eldest lad asked him what it was like. "Oh" he said "It's ELL ON A RIG BOY"
Which was a massive smash for the Beatles
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beckyxxx
Wow, I Can Post
little devil
Posts: 20
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Post by beckyxxx on Nov 8, 2004 23:55:20 GMT 1
these are really funny unfortunately i have no ideas but keep these coming they are really funny and B2P Steve knows i laugh at anything... and i mean anything!!!!!!!! ;D ;D
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Post by Claret & Blue Army on Nov 9, 2004 23:20:23 GMT 1
Arthur was never the most prompt of people. Everyday he would miss the bus into work and arrive late. Eventually his boss called him into the office and gave him one last chance. If Arthur was late again he would be fired.
The next morning Arthur made sure he got up in plenty of time, got dressed and skipped breakfast in an effort to make it on time for the bus.
As he turned the corner of his street, he saw to his dismay that the bus was early so he started to run. As he did this, his shoe exploded and the back part of it shot behind him.
Seeing the bus had left and knowing what would happen at work, he looked down at the pieces of his shoe with a crestfallen look and said, "You picked a fine time to leave me LOOSE HEEL"
Which was a big country hit for Kenny Rogers
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