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Post by Claret & Blue Army on May 13, 2004 22:18:33 GMT 1
A nervous teenager walks into a chemist and goes up to the counter. He asks the girl behind the counter for some condoms. "Which sort? " she says, "We have all different types, and colours"
"Ok" sys the teen "I'll have a blue one, agreen one a yellow one and a red one"
Nine months later the teen returns to the chemist,
"I'd like a maternity bra pleae " he says.
"What bust" replies the girl
He answers "The red one!!"
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covblaze2005
Wow, I Can Post
proclaimed broomball screwup (wasnt me)!!!!!!!!
Posts: 138
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Post by covblaze2005 on May 14, 2004 8:32:26 GMT 1
okok two blondes go camping in a near by forest.
on the way one blond says to the other i cant see the forest there are too many trees in the way!!!.
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Post by Claret & Blue Army on May 14, 2004 17:07:33 GMT 1
A blond girl and her boyfriend are about to jump off the Empire State Building after a tiff.
The guy gets cold feet and steps back just as the girl plummetts.
After a short while the man decides to do the right thing by her and jumps too.
The man hits the floor with a thud and dies instantly.
3 minutes later the girl follows suit.
Much later in heaven they meet up and talk about what happened on that fateful day.
The man says "Somethings been puzzling me, how come I jumped last yet landed first?"
"Oh" replies the girl "I had to sop on the way down for directions"
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Post by Scrappy39 on Jul 26, 2004 12:39:58 GMT 1
The toronto police department brought a lie detector and wanted to test it, but no1 wanted 2 vollunteer. Soon enough, the maple leafs volunteered, and the next day the lie detector arrived @ the maple leaf gardens. Bryan mcCabe sat down and hooked himself up, and then said " i think we have the best defence in the whole NHL", immedietly the buzzer went off. Then Mats sundin hooked himself up, and said " i think we have the best offense in the whole NHL" again the buzzer sounded straight away, saying that he was lying. Then Tie domi hooked himself up, and said, " I think.." immedietly the buzzer went off ;D  |
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Drew88
Wow, I Can Post
Halikarnas
Confusion is caused by Women!
Posts: 99
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Post by Drew88 on Jul 26, 2004 23:24:16 GMT 1
why did the hedgehog cross the road
To see his FLAT mate
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Post by Scrappy39 on Jul 27, 2004 20:04:03 GMT 1
Did you hear that the pittsburgh penguins are getting a new coach?
He's from china, and his name is "Winonesoon"
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Post by Scrappy39 on Jul 27, 2004 20:07:01 GMT 1
Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists,breaking the dogs neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident,and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in Toronto, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" hecontinued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Jays fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in Toronto was either for the Leafs or Jays fan."What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan." the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little French b*****d from Montreal Kills Beloved Family Pet.
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Post by Scrappy39 on Jul 27, 2004 20:07:58 GMT 1
TOP 10 REASONS HOCKEY IS BETTER THAN SEX...
10. YOU GO IN 1-2 MINUTE SHIFTS
9. THE PUCK IS ALWAYS HARD
8. THE PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT IS REUSABLE
7. IT LASTS A FULL HOUR
6. YOU KNOW YOU ARE FINISHED WHEN THE BUZZER SOUNDS
5. YOUR PARENTS CHEER WHEN YOU SCORE
4. A 2 ON 1 OR 3 ON 1 IS NOT UNCOMMON
3. IT IS LEGAL TO PLAY PROFESSIONALLY
2. YOU CAN COUNT ON IT AT LEAST TWICE A WEEK
1. PERIODS ONLY LAST 20 MINUTES
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Post by Dave on Jul 31, 2004 11:01:29 GMT 1
haha- scrappy! i've got a good joke- me!!!  |
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Post by PW on Aug 10, 2004 19:42:17 GMT 1
Don't get me and Whiskey started on the sick ones....the cleanest one I have, familiar to those on the coaches, is... TWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO rats in a sewer. One turns to the other and says 'I'm fed up-all we do down here is live in sh*t. We eat it, drink it, swim in it...it's awful!' His mate says 'Don't worry, it'll all change tonight." "Really? How?" "I'm taking you out on the p*ss....'  Or- Mike Blaisdell and Stan Marple are in the forest. One accidentally shoots the other, so frantically rings an ambulance.... 'Help! I've accidentally shot my friend-I think he's dead!' "OK, calm down. First make sure he is dead' 'Hang on'...(sound of gunshot down the phone)...'OK, he's dead. Now what?!' |
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Post by chunkydave16 on Aug 11, 2004 9:16:45 GMT 1
what do u do if a blonde throws u a grenade.
pull the pin out and throw it back.
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Post by Claret & Blue Army on Aug 11, 2004 12:54:59 GMT 1
A recent survey has detailed that 7 out of 10 people suffer from piles. Does that mean 3 out of 10 enjoy them then?
Another survey has declared that every 25 minutes a man gets violently assaulted in London...I think he's getting a bit fed up of it by now and should move
3 blondes walked into a building. you would have thought that at least one of them would have seen it!
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